Does Self-Talk Affect Our Learning?

I’m sure everyone remembers when The Secret became a phenomenon. Since that popular book and video was released, I have been receiving The Secret daily teachings in the form of an email. I read a lot of them, some I just scroll through and some hit the nail on the head. This last email really got me thinking about how our self-talk affects our lives as well as our learning and achievements.

When it comes to learning to ballroom dance, I believe that the way we think and how we see ourselves greatly affects our progress. You know why I think that? Because after 27 years of teaching a wide range of people and seeing a wide range of results, I began to realize the results that were achieved were almost always inspired by the thoughts and words of the client.

Here are some examples of common negative self-talk:

“I have never been able to dance.” “I am no good at math.” “I am not very coordinated.” “Everyone in my family is overweight.” “It’s hard for me to make friends.” “I am always late.” “I have no rhythm.” “I am moody.” “I’ve never been good with money.” “Some people have it, and some people don’t.”

Do any of these sound familiar?

It is crazy how much of a habit negative self-talk can be. These are conversations that take place in our head, but imagine how much we solidify it when we say it out loud.  Whichever of these things you choose to say, you are right. You are right because once we say we can’t do something, we won’t do it. I know it seems simple, but we need to stop ourselves and break the habit.

I once did a challenge with our staff to see if we could all go 24 hours without saying anything negative. I hate to say it, but we all failed miserably. And I believe we are in the top percent of people who focus on the positive.

Where does this come from? Is it part of our society and how we were raised?  Our paradigm and beliefs that are formed throughout our childhood shapes who we become and what we believe the norm is. Our norm then becomes our truth, limiting as it may be, and our truth becomes what we think and say about ourselves.

Another reason I believe human beings do this is because of our fear of failure. We don’t want to look foolish, awkward or clumsy so instead, it’s easier to say we aren’t good at it.

Remember, all things are possible to those who believe. You may have to work harder and you may experience some failures but that certainly doesn’t mean it is impossible. This is a journey everyone has to go through in order to achieve great things.

I haven’t yet met a person that cannot learn to dance. I have also found that the harder you have to work at something, the bigger reward you receive! Watch your words and get ready for the rewards.

Live, Love, Dance and Enjoy


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